Everybody loves you when you’re easy, right Sarah? Uh, Nope. McLachlan is loved world-wide but even she had to drill down to Self Love as her choice to save herself and get the f*?k out of LA! She also revealed that she is quite an introvert, appreciating solitude, the kind of protected Woman who produces deep feeling in the songs we all listen to over and again.
Surely you have taken a deep dive into the history of your Hero to see where she started and how she bloomed and rose. Self-Actualizing Women are always taking these steps to the let past be the past—that is what we do, yeah?
Recently, I have been using STT, Spontaneous Transformation Technique, to tell my little Sissy (yes, that was my name for years) that I was here for her and I am not going anywhere. I witnessed her trauma and let her rail. This experience was very different from my adopted mom listening to my outbursts of rage and tears and trauma throughout adolescence. Although, without Karen, I could not have arrived here.
Even so, doing this simple exercise to re-wire my deep core programming by being The Observer as the anchor for the trauma … it was and is transformational.
I watched as little Sissy was abandoned by her mother at the age of just past 7 years. I Observed little Sissy wailing amongst her meager belongings while her mother drove away, just left her there. Her brothers were far away in another building so I saw that Sissy was truly all alone—absolutely abandoned. Even the staff and girls of Washington Hall did nothing to comfort Sissy other than show her to her cubicle.
As the Observer, my heart was breaking for her, as it would for any child in such circumstance. Ginger wanted to feel all of that for her, but because I knew that this exercise was serving to re-wire all of those traumas in Ginger’s brain/Consciousness,/SubbyC/Spirit, I allowed myself to only feel compassion for that perfect child while simply listening to her as she tried to make sense of her mad, mad world.
I watched as the older girls at Stratton abused little Sissy, calling her “Sissy Pissy” because of her chronic enuresis. It wouldn’t be until more than a decade later that science would reveal that sexual abuse of babies and toddlers causes them to wet the bed as an internal response to the abuse, literally punishing herself by trying to make herself un-sexually desirable.
I witnessed little Sissy try to be happy and make everyone around her happy too. And, I witnessed a specific House-Mother definitely enjoy whipping Sissy’s wet ass every morning … the trauma to that sweet little strawberry beauty became too much for me to Witness, so I decided to stop there, for now.
All that witnessing as my own Observer compounded my natural compassion into a meteor of forgiveness, all around. I cried for little Sissy, that precious innocent girl. And, felt an overwhelming sense of awe … how is she ever going to successfully get through all of that?
The one thing that I did not do in this process was to Feel Sissy’s feelings—ho-lee cows! Methinks I felt her pain as a mother would, or any Connected Human. What a phenomenal breakthrough!
To witness my young life as the Self-Actualizing Woman that I am today is astounding, truly bizarre *grin*
When I Love Me, all of ME, then “everybody” will Love Me … Sarah knows, so should we all.
Join us at MistressMind Assemblies. We exist to Witness Your Breakthroughs too ♥
https://www.facebook.com/MistressMindAssemblies/